Conversations with Healers, Helpers, and Guides: Tune Into Pleasure with Tatiana Meisenheimer, RMHCI
Conversations with Helpers, Healers, and Guides is a monthly blog series from Holistic Healing and Wellness with Sabrina LLC with the intention of sparking conversation with other wellness professionals to share perspectives on different ways mind, body, spirit health can be supported.
We are kicking off the series talking with Tatiana Meisenheimer, RYT-500, RMCHI, a counselor, fellow yogi, and one of my bestest friends. She guides others to feel and heal through body-centered and sex-positive therapy.
Sabrina: Tell us who you are, where you practice, and what you specialize in.
Tatiana: My mission is to weave together evidence-based therapy with a sex-positive twist and a touch of trauma-informed yoga. At the core of my healing philosophy is the concept of 'tuning in.' I believe that by turning your focus inward, you can tap into the wisdom and healing potential that resides within you. As a mental health counselor and yoga teacher I use a range of modalities to encourage growth and provide guidance on how to navigate the intricate landscapes of your emotions, thoughts, sensations, and experiences. Right now, I offer online individual and couples therapy through Enso Behavioral Healthcare for Florida residents, and I teach a weekly in person all-levels yoga class at Cocoon Yoga & Movement Studio in Tampa.
Sabrina: What inspired you to explore the interplay between sexuality, yoga, and mental health and how they are interconnected in promoting overall well-being?
Tatiana: Divine timing! Throughout my undergraduate degree at the University of Florida I knew I wanted to pursue a career in counseling, however, I wasn’t sure what that would look like. By the time I graduated I had taken a few courses that played a pivotal role in guiding me towards sexuality and yoga. Dr. Laurie Mintz, the author of ‘Get Cliterate’, taught a Psychology of Human Sexuality course I took that sparked by passion for the field of sex therapy. Shortly before taking her course, I started practicing yoga for the physical health benefits to aid in my recovery after an accident. Towards the end of undergrad I also took a Yoga course for credits and this played a role in shifting my focus towards both mindfulness and sexuality. By the time I started my graduate degree in counseling I had signed up for my first 200hr yoga training and made the decision to pursue a master’s thesis investigating sex therapy. And the rest is history!
At this point in my career the interplay between mindfulness and sexuality is clearer than ever. Yoga, with its emphasis on mindfulness and body awareness offers a platform for individuals to connect with themselves. This can be particularly beneficial in building intimacy, addressing issues related to sexuality and mental health, and encouraging one’s capacity to experience pleasure.
Sabrina: How can mindfulness practices, including yoga and meditation, help individuals and couples connect with their bodies, embrace their sexuality, and promote mental well-being?
Tatiana: Mindfulness can enable you to have more space for pleasure, both erotic and non-erotic. This can be a subjective experience, as what feels pleasurable for one person may not be pleasurable for everyone. I often like to tie in the idea of sensuality, or engagement with your five senses, to explore pleasure. So for example, your skin is your your largest sex organ and your brain is your most important sex organ. This means that your mindset around sex and pleasure plays a crucial role in your sexual experiences, and your sexual canvas (aka your skin) extends far beyond your stereotypical erogenous zones (aka your genitals).
Exploring your senses can be something erotic, as well as something that exists outside of sexual pleasure. For example, how much room does a person have for pleasure in their everyday life? Do they pause long enough to notice and enjoy the pleasurable sensation of hot water on their skin when they shower or wash their hands? Everyday things that have the potential to be pleasurable are often missed because of being stuck in autopilot. Being mindful enough to notice more pleasure in your everyday life can translate to more pleasure in your erotic life. Essentially, engaging with your five senses is a mindfulness practice in itself, and can help you notice more pleasure into your life, ground yourself in the present moment, and build your self awareness.
Sabrina: Can you elaborate on how meditation practices can help individuals navigate feelings of shame, guilt, or anxiety related to sexuality?
Tatiana: Oftentimes when people bring up behaviors they are ashamed about I am quick to point out it has less to do with the behavior and more to do with the shame. So if you notice any judgement ~hello mindfulness~ try and get curious about where that judgement comes from and what it feels like. The essence of mindfulness is ‘nonjudgmental awareness’, where you can observe and notice thoughts/feelings/sensations without judging them.
One thing I will scream from the rooftops is that we are all built with the same parts organized in different ways. What I mean by that is anatomically we have homologous tissue - so for example the tip of the penis is the same tissue composition as the clit - and there is wide variation with both the appearance of genitalia and sexual preferences. I’ll use the analogy of a car. We all have sexual accelerators, things that’s turn you on, and sexual breaks, things that turn you off, and these things are completely subjective. For example for one person stress can be something that pushes them to want sex more for stress relief, whereas for another person it may turn them off from having sex. Brakes can include negative self talk, lack of sleep, resentment, pressure, faulty beliefs about sex, literally anything. The key is to become aware of you accelerators and breaks through mindfulness, and use that information to support your sexuality. If your goal is to increase desire you’ll want to try and minimize your breaks and maximize your accelerators. This can be a helpful framework to open and guide conversations around intimacy. In partnered sex communication is like a superpower. There may be things you discover as accelerators/brakes for you and your partner(s) that surprise you - talk about it, decide what your boundaries are, and realize consent can be revoked at any point during a sexual encounter. And let me point out that humans are weird! We have tons of research to back this up if you are familiar with Alfred Kinsey. Differences are not deficits, they are just differences.
Sabrina: What is the number one thing you want the readers to know about sexuality?
Tatiana: If I were to give a takeaway message it would be this : meditate, masturbate, and communicate! If you want a more sexually fulfilling life start by building on the intimacy you have with yourself, both physically and mentally. This can have a ripple effect on the way you approach both pleasure and your relationships!
Sabrina: Are there any workshops, or resources you would recommend for readers interested in further exploring these practices?
Tatiana: Please follow me on instagram @tuneinbytatiana and check out my website https://tatianacaseley.wixsite.com/website if you are interested in learning more about what I offer! For those interested in investigating these concepts more you can download my FREE sensuality sampler menu for exploring your body and desires by scrolling to the bottom of the landing page for Naked & Educated on my website.