From High Hopes to Deep Disappointment: The Anxious Attachment Loop
You know the feeling. You're chatting with a new friend, or a family member, and there's a moment – a shared laugh, a heartfelt comment, a feeling of genuine connection.
And just like that, your mind races ahead. This is it! This feels good. This connection is real.
You're filled with this wonderful, warm sense of hope and joy. You start to picture more moments like this. It feels amazing, doesn't it?
But then, something shifts. Maybe they seem a little busy, or a plan gets canceled, or you just get a quiet moment that feels... off.
And suddenly, that lovely, hopeful feeling twists into a familiar knot in your stomach. That joy drains right out, replaced by a heavy disappointment. Your brain, in what feels like a blink, jumps to:
"Did I say something wrong?"
"Are they pulling away?"
"Am I too much?"
"Why does this always happen to me?"
"Maybe I'm not that important to them after all."
"See? I knew it wouldn't last."
4 Things I Do When I Feel The Urge to Say “Yes” (As A Therapist & Recovering People-Pleaser)
Things I’ve had to be honest with myself about: It’s okay to want to say “yes” to others AND it’s important to understand where the “yes” is coming from. We often hear about setting boundaries and IMO, boundaries are not meant to keep people out. They are a bridge...
Therapist Thoughts: “I wish more people understood you can have a ‘good’ childhood and still experience trauma.”
Let’s talk about it: Your childhood may have looked “good” to others on the outside OR actually felt good most of the time inside. But, yet you felt like: your parents were physically there, but emotionally distant...